Kicking down doors

“What makes you happy?”

My mentor Jay asks me over a macadamia nut latte and a fresh baked donut.

I was looking for a job at the time, so I told him I was pretty good at administrative work.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he said, “tell me what you’re passionate about.”

I then told him about sharing my poetry with the world. He got goosebumps when I spoke.

“You haven’t stopped smiling since you started talking. Not once did you mention how difficult it was to do that.”

We agreed that it is being truthful and vulnerable that makes us great.

We then discussed the importance of looking in the mirror.

“What if your situation had given him a mirror to look at why he did this? Something probably hurt him as a kid that he never properly healed from. We have to change the perpetrators, because if we don’t, they will continue to do this.”

When I think of sexual violence, I’m angry. Rightfully so, given what I and so many others have been through. Anger provides great impetus for taking action.

But in that moment, I realized that if I really wanted to be a great leader, if I really wanted to make a difference in this world, then I needed to meet my anger with empathy too.

That day, Jay called me a “compassionate warrior”. It is hands down the best compliment I’ve ever received.

“What does a compassionate warrior do?” I asked.

“Well,” he said, “in your case, it means you’re going to kick down doors and shatter glass ceilings.”